financial update

Hello friends! I just wanted to throw out a quick financial update. There have been some mixed up numbers on our financial status and it turns out we currently have 1/3 less than we had originally thought. Since we were already in a tough spot, the recent developments put us in a much more urgent situation. In all reality, the numbers say that we will be coming home early because we do not have enough for rent and food. Although the reality says otherwise, we all are standing firm in faith that God will provide the money to finish the outreach strong. Testing of faith develops perseverance, and we are learning to persevere through our financial issues. God is moving in radical ways here and I am confident he will keep us here until our work is completed. However, it is important to convey to our supporters the reality of the situation. On a personal level, I owe $1,608. Praise God that He has already provided $4,000 for me! Please pray that he continues to provide the remaining amount.

If you feel led to donate you can send all tax-deductible donations made out to S.E.N.D. Ministries 4052 Alto Street Oceanside, Ca 92056 with Alaina Henderson on the memo line. Or, you may donate online at http://sendministries.com.s52753.gridserver.com.com/

Please continue praying for us! You all are standing in the gap on our part. Thank you so much for all your support so far. We are confident that God is going to show himself to His people in miraculous ways during this last stretch. I love you all, and I will see you around Christmas and hopefully no sooner! (not because I don’t miss you all, but because there is so much to do here!) I have put together a short video to give you all a glimpse into what has been going on here so you can see God moving first hand. I apologize for the video quality. Internet connections haven’t been too friendly. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyQzXB3w0Zw

God Bless you all! Baruch Hashem.

In our Rescuer,

Alaina

Half way!

So, another month down! I am so terrible at posting these things. It is just hard when I have so much to say that I can’t even begin to relay it all to you. It is a beautiful thing though, that I get to share some of my journey with you. When I look back at the moment I decided to come on this trip, I realize how the Lord has begun to change me. I’ll be honest, I had some good motives and bad motives to come. Knowing that the Lord was calling me to go, it fueled my desire to “get away.” But God has really been moving me in ways I didn’t even expect and it’s so awesome to be able to share it with people I care about.

The ministry here is taking on a completely different face than any of us had imagined. Tuesdays and Thursdays are routine. We help at an Iraqi children’s hospital (Shevet.org) on Tuesdays and serve at a soup kitchen/coffee shop on Thursdays. But our toughest ministry has taken place right in our own apartment. God has been bringing us drug addicts, prostitutes, runaways, and surprisingly, even a couple Orthodox Jews that don’t exactly fit the pattern listed. It feels like the size of our team has been growing by the week. We came with seven, and recently there has been twelve sleeping in our tiny apartment. It seems we are running a soup kitchen, church, and homeless shelter right out of our own home. It’s challenging, but awesome. Let me tell you about some of our friends.

Jennifer: A twenty-one year old girl from Louisiana who has found herself to be, in her words, “stuck here” for the last several years. While we have been here she has ran away from her abusive muslim boyfriend, quit heroin, relapsed, went back into prostitution, went back to her boyfriend, and most recently, ran away from him again. It is so hard to see the hard life she lives. She so badly desires to finally be free from everything but says she just can’t do it. Jennifer always talks about her mom and two little sisters and how one day she’ll fly back to the states to be with them again.

Alex: her story is really hard, and she really needs some prayer. For a number of reasons I can’t tell you about her. If you would like to know, just skype me.

Aviv: A twenty-three year old who believes in Yeshua (Jesus) but his walk with the Lord is really fickle. He is homeless, an alcoholic, and might be facing 3 years in prison for shooting a cop. Yah, he’s pretty intense. We all love him and he is a riot to be around.

Arron: A strong believer who grew up in Guatemala and upon discovering he was Jewish, moved to Israel. I admire him so much for what he has been doing here in Israel. He has been homeless for nearly 3 years and his faith now is stronger than ever. When we first met him, he had an eye patch and was all cut up. It wasnt until recently he finally told the story of what happened to him. He was walking one day when two of his former friends came up and offered him drugs. When he declined he told them about how Yeshua saved his life and that he loves them and wants to save theirs too. They instantly became furious and began beating him. Not swinging back he got of on his feet and said “Yeshua loves you” and they beat him again. And again he rose and said “Yeshua loves you” and this repeated for several more times and the final time he rose and said, “Yeshua loves you, and God is my Justice.” The next day his “friends” ran up to him weeping and apologizing saying they wanted to know more about this Yeshua.

Goel: A 19 year old Orthodox Jew who has come to believe in Jesus as the Messiah only a month or so ago. He ran away from home because he was tired of being in a controlling religious household and he wanted to know what the truth was. He is still struggling daily with the line between following the Law and following Jesus.

Pastor Matthew: A 7-foot tall Sudanese Pastor in Tel Aviv who led 2,500 refugees BY FOOT into Israel. They were fleeing from all the war that has overcome that area in Africa. People are still dying in the hands of the L.R.A. and radical muslims now are holding Christian’s at gunpoint forcing them to convert or die. When this modern day Moses and his people reached Egypt on their journey, the Egyptian government opened fire on them because they did not want them in their country. Many of them died that day, but they marched on with the land of milk and honey as their destination. Here they have found refuge until this last year the Israeli government has been forcing them to go home to their war-torn country. My heart has always been in Sudan and Uganda. After talking to him and hearing his incredible story, God has added even more fuel to my fire. I look forward to the day in which I can finally go.

I am learning more and more about dying to myself and sacrificing all of my energy to this cause. Our team is making it a point to be known: We are not here to force anyone to come to our faith. But we have all been changed radically by the way Jesus has worked in us, how he has given us peace and joy that we cannot produce ourselves. It would be selfish of us to keep that gift to ourselves. I praise God because as He uses me to try and bring His healing love to His people, he has been healing me as well. Its hard to believe our trip is almost halfway over and I feel we are just getting started! For those of you who have been praying for us, I thank you so much. Prayer is our first weapon and you all are on the front lines for us. Please continue to pray! Here are some prayer requests/needs:

For Our Team:

-God will strengthen us through persecution

-We become even more united as God adds to our number

-We all keep focused on the task at hand

-To give us and especially our leaders wisdom and discernment.

For the Nation:

-For open hearts and eyes

-To receive what we have without offense

-For Arab-Jewish conflict to cease in Jerusalem

For me:

-focus

-a sacrificial servanthood

-boldness in the face of persecution

-Finances! (I only have enough money to stay until the end of October)

Thank you all so much for showing interest in the work that is being done here. God is moving! If you would like to donate you can send it to 4052 Alto Street Oceanside, Ca 92056. If check, it is tax-deductable and can be made out to Send Ministries with Alaina Henderson on the memo line. If cash, attach a note with my name :) Also, you can donate online at http://sendministries.com.s52753.gridserver.com/ I can never thank you all enough for the support you have already given me. Through prayer, encouragment, or finances, you have all sent me! Shalom and Shana tova!

I'm Cheating.

So, I was sitting wondering about what I was going to say to you all next. As I contemplated this, Ashley read me her update and I decided to steal it. I could never describe the people we have met nearly as eloquent as she has. So, without further ado, here is Ashley's update titled: Meet the Nation of Israel.

One of the amazing things of life on the field, is the extraordinary people I have met. Sometimes I think, wow i need to write a book one day about all of these people. I thought I'd start with an email:). These people your about to read about aren't Big pastors, or have big ministries. But i tell you the truth, there are men and women out there in the " Highways and Bi-ways" living a life of sacrifice, a place on the road side of the "Big Highway" where life becomes really simple...becoming one with the people. Be inspired and encouraged by our "Today Hebrews chapter 11 people"

Meet Degin... from Ethiopia

A small man in stature... with a courageous heart. Originally from Ethiopia, he came to Israel 12 years ago by foot. In fact he is responsible for leading 30,000 Ethiopian Jews to Israel by foot. A real modern day Moses. He now pastors a church in Ashkelon, a city that in continually caught in Arab and Jewish tension. Yet this week i met this Hero standing outside the Madonna concert as he passed out "New Testaments" to the crowds plowing into the streets. People ridiculed Him and Insulted him, but his soft eyes and His bright smile continued. I am humbled by this man who after he has done so much does not think it is beneath him to pass out New Testaments and reach out the nation of Israel.

Meet Erick... from Holland

A tall lengthy man with big blue eyes and a tender smile. He recently came to know the Lord this last year, and now has given his life over to cooking for the poor at the soup kitchen. He never sees or really talks to the 150 people he cooks for, you usually find him in the kitchen, washing the endless line of dishes, or this last week he cooked a secret recipe that has been in his family for 6 generations. His Joy is inspiring, he feels so honored to cook a meal for the Lord.

Meet Dia... from Iraq

A 4 year old girl with longing eyes and a big imagination. A ministry here in Israel has made a way for her to come to Israel for a life saving heart surgery. Her heart has a defect the is life threatening, yet the surgery she will have next week is also very life threatening, the doctors took months to even decide to do it.Her family is muslim but the are very open to the gospel and there hearts are very open to Israel, since Israeli doctors are the ones who are attempting to save her life.

This week we visited her and played with her she loves to dance and give hugs at one point she climbed up into my arms and i held her tight, i could feel her heart beating on my chest, the very heart that is hanging on for life. My heart melted. O Lord may her physical and spiritual heart be healed.

Meet Sadi... from Ethia

I saw her from across the soup kitchen, timidly sitting at a table with her eyes on the ground. Her pregnant Belly looked full term, and she looked about my age. Most people at the soup kitchen are elderly or people with rough lives off the streets, she looked different, she looked like she had been on a long journey. As i sat and talked with her i find out that her and her husband fled from Ethia (a small country near Ethiopia) 2 years ago because people were persecuting them for their christian faith. They fled by foot, yes that right they walked most the way and when the could take a bus they would also. Now here in Israel they find refuge, but still hardships continue. They are about to have their first baby, she came to the soup kitchen to get a meal, maybe get some baby clothes. The whole time i talked with her she never complained about her life, in fact life was bursting out of her eyes and her smile as she shared.

Meet Nina...from Brazil

Since weve been serving at the soup kitchen every week we get to see a lot of the same people, one lady in particular is Nina. she is a bubbly woman from Brazil, and between her Spanish and broken English we have great conversations. She recently received the Lord into her life she keeps saying "jesus saved my life!" Jesus saved my life!" This last thursday she didn't come to the soup kitchen for her weekly meal i wondered where she was, but about 4 pm after everything had been cleaned up we heard a knock at the door it was Nina, she had come to bring an offering, she said God had blessed her with 20 shekels and she wanted to give it back to Him. what a sweet smelling sacrifice her heart is, giving out of her abundance!

Meet Alaina, David, and Nick...from California

Some of our team members this week have faced and experienced some of the most precious scriptures of our faith. "Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness for theirs in the kingdom of heaven" Matt. 5:10. This week we stood outside the Madonna concert and passed out new testaments. Did you know that there is no where in israel you can go and buy a new testament? Even if an Israeli wanted to read one they wouldn't be able to find it. It was a great experience of growing in our boldness. A lot of people where thankful to have a free book and gladly took it, while with some it roused up anger; spitting in faces, ripping up bibles, burning bibles, and even standing around in a circle creating a wall so that people could not get any new testaments. But people especially secular Jews when they would see the anger of the religious ones, it made them want a new testament even more. God even used their anger for HIs Glory!

Time would not permit for me to tell you of Bob, an elderly man who lives on a concrete slab in the country side, uses pine cones for fire to cook meals and has devoted his life to the gospel. Or Mary the elderly woman who moved here to retire, to serve at the Iraqi children's hospital. Her job? She washes their sheets. Or arron the young kid from guatemala who has suffered beating after beating for believing in Yeshua.

Here are just a few of the men and women who are fighting the fight of faith...today.

The Lord has been moving in supernatural ways, beginning to see people coming to faith! Pray that as God gives us people he would show us how to disciple and love each person.

Walking in His Grace,

Beto and Ashley

One Month Down!

How can I even begin? It has been about a month since I said my goodbyes and I've hardly had enough time to soak everything in. To start off with, I still don't really feel as if I am actually in Israel. The whole experience is so surreal. I can't believe God has sent me HERE. Not only to Israel, but to Jerusalem! We've started to get into a routine finally. We've been doing "prayer watches" where at every hour of the night someone is up praying over the country and the team. It so awesome to know our whole trip is always covered in prayer.

Ministry has finally kicked off and we've been making weekly commitments to different organizations,ministries,congregations etc. There are two things that have been really incredible for me to be apart of and I absolutely LOVE. The first is working at a soup kitchen every thursday in Tel Aviv. I've always had a heart for homeless ministry and it gives me a little piece of back home with the Povertees gang. One day I was serving this table and sat down to talk with them a while only to find out their names were Abraham,Esther, and Jeremiah! I was sitting with major biblical figures! Well, not literally but how awesome is that!? The homeless in Tel Aviv are so different from the people in Downtown Los Angeles. In L.A., I was usually nervous of getting harassed,yelled at, stolen from,grabbed etc. Here in Tel Aviv, I am more nervous of how I will be received as a foreigner. Frankly, its a little intimidating when a table of 7 guys known to be part of the Russian Mafia are all staring at you. Aside from the mafia crew, the people I've gotten to know are so intelligent, welcoming, and not to mention hilarious!

The second ministry we've become a part of is a children's hospital called Shevet Achim. Based here in Jerusalem, they go into Iraq and pick up children with life-threatening heart issues. Iraq has a very poor medical system and many children with heart problems are turned away at hospitals, left to die with no options. This team of believers reaches out and brings these children and their mothers into Israel for quality treatment. They have saved hundreds of lives and have blessed the Iraqis so much. As a team, we go to the hospital to play with the children, lead worship, help renovate, etc. I am absolutely in love with these kids! Even despite their state of health, they are determined to live like happy, active, normal kids. We will be working with them every Tuesday, all day. I wish I could spend even more time there a week!

It's been soooo sick being here but really terrifying and challenging at the same time. Ashley and Beto are constantly challenging me to lead worship (which I feel I'm not good enough yet) and will tell me to go on stage behind the microphone at any given moment. No preparation, no warning, just to go play. That literally happened on Thursday. I was serving food at the soup kitchen and Ashley handed me a guitar and told me to play some worship on stage. It's been hard but I've been doing it. Maybe it'll make me better, I trust they know what they are doing. Another thing that's been challenging has been walking in boldness. I'm a pretty shy, socially awkward person when I am around new people, ESPECIALLY people my own age. So, I usually avoid meeting newbies unless I have a wingman. Here, thats really not an option. It is against the law for any one over the age of 18 to evangelize to people 18 years and younger. SO, since I am the only 18 year old on the team, it's kind of up to me. That is the hardest thing for me, so prayer would be awesome :)

I really miss you all so much! I look at all of your pictures and it makes me wish I could be in two places at once. Please let me know what is going on in your lives so I know what to pray for!

Shalom from Jerusalem!

After spending a couple days in Tel Aviv, we have officially moved into our apartment in Jerusalem! It is absolutely incredible. It is only by the favor of God that we are here. Before we left, It was prophesied over us that we were going to run into some serious spiritual warfare getting into the country. It was definitely a challenge.

To begin with, Ashley and Lindsay got a serious case of the flu right before we left. Then we had been told that since Beto has a Mexican passport that he would not be allowed in the country. Next, we couldn’t get our boarding passes because our return date was for five months from now when we only have three month visas. We decided to just keep praying, pressing on, and asking different people at the airport to print them. We finally got them all printed, got on our flight, and walked on to customs. At customs however, is where we met our biggest obstacle. The whole team got through except Ashley and Beto. Beto had accidentally pulled out a folder for send ministries instead of the flight itinerary. When the lady saw it, she asked to look through it. It had everything about out trip in it. Copies of all our passports, our mission statement, vision, and it must have included the word “missionaries” like 2374987 times. Now I’m not sure if you knew this, but Israel does not allow “missionaries” into the country. After four hours of almost being deported, somehow they got sick of interrogating them and just let them go. So here we are!

Tel Aviv was so beautiful! The sand at the beach was like flour and the water was so clear and warm. The people aren’t super friendly though. It reminded me a lot of New York. Everyone was clubbing, partying, at a bar, or passing out flyers for all of the above. So I didn’t feel far from home in Tel Aviv. It was weird and definitely not what I expected. Jerusalem now, is a completely different story. Everything is so old! The walkways are all cobblestone and every building is made of all stone from way back when. I feel like I have went back in time. We walked through the old city and visited the western “wailing” wall. It is the saddest thing. These jewish people have no sacrifice system so all they have is their deeds and the little prayers they put in the cracks of the wall. It was really hard to see because they don’t even realize that they have fully rejected their messiah who doesn’t need any of that. By the time were done here, hopefully some will come to realize that. Little interesting thing about the wall, when you walk away from the wall you have to walk backwards out of respect. It’s a way of saying, “ I will never turn my back on the wall or God.” So you see a lot of people running into each other and falling haha. We haven’t started ministry yet but I will update as soon as I can with more news! Thanks for everything, I love you all.

l'hitraot!

(goodbye)

Alaina

Seeking the Heart of Jeremiah

As I sit here staring at this blank canvas God is rolling out before me I ask myself, Where do I begin? The canvas is not my own, and how to use the brush is foreign to me. Yet God is asking me to paint.

Being only eighteen, I continue to doubt myself. I am not qualified enough. I am not eloquent enough. I am not bold enough. I am only a child. How am I supposed to go and preach to His chosen people when I have no idea what tools He has given me to use, let alone how to use them? I am stuck staring at a blank canvas with a foreign tool in my hand.

As these doubts echo in my head once again, as they have many times before, God continues to encapsulate my heart with the words He spoke to Jeremiah.

“Ah Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am only a child”

But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” Declares the Lord.” -Jeremiah 1:6-8

So now that I have been commanded to go despite my human flaws, I am still left with the question, “Where do I begin?” There is so much uncertainty before me and the fear of the invisible tomorrow shortens my stride.

“ Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” -Jeremiah 6:16

This is where I crave my own spiritual evolution. I can stand at the crossroads and look. I’m even able to ask where the good way is. But knowing the answer and walking by faith in it? How can one ever know? Instant gratification is the way to go for me. God if you could just send me an email or text letting me know, that would be awesome. Yet it is exactly that; an evolution. Hearing God’s voice is a “sixth sense” developed over time. So that is the selfish desire I will be pursuing in His land. Maybe, when His whisper becomes more apparent to me, He will direct me in the right path, with the right tools, and the directions to use them.

Aside from my my selfish desires, I am going because I fear for the people of Israel, and I break for them. How can a nation be so hardened from the God that chose them? As a Gentile, I find myself envious of the position they hold in God’s heart. If only they would see how blessed they could be. I read through Jeremiah and hear of the stronghold sin had over their hearts. Although that was spoken in past, the parallels today are infinite: Idolatry, war, lust, and abandonment of God. Its difficult to grasp how Jews today can completely reject Jesus. When through Him us believers (the majority of us are Gentiles) have a palpable, living, active relationship with God. Their God. One would think that would ignite a jealousy in their hearts to be connected to God in that way also. They have no sacrifice system, they rely solely on their works and the law. Almost as if they are now worshiping a system of government because of their rejection of Jesus. That's no way to live. Actually, it's not living at all.

So now I step out in boldness to stir jealousy within the people of Israel. I am only a child with no clear direction of my own but God has put this brush in my hand and this blank canvas before me. So here I am, painting.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.” -Jeremiah 31:3-4

other blog.

So I've had another blog for a while but it's been marked private. It's just some poetry, songs, spoken word etc. I decided I don't really care anymore if other people see it haha so it's officially not private anymore. Actually i'll even give you the link. www.ummnothinggg.blogspot.com

The Visually Appealing Version

Hey everyone!

When I posted my letter a while ago I realize it was pretty crazy to look at. So I finally uploaded the pretty version that I mailed out. If you would like to print out one just follow the link below and click "click here to start download" Pretty simple eh? I need as much support as I can get so please hand some out to your family,friends and churches! You guys are awesome, love you all.

Download Alaina's Israel letter!

Remembering...

So it is officially May, 20 2009. The three year mark. Its so weird to think that it has been three years. It has felt like an eternity but then again it's almost like it happened yesterday. What a strange feeling. I'm trying to not be sad and just live like it was any other day. It's hard not having her in my life but it has gotten easier with time. I still miss her and think about her everyday, but death happens and i've accepted it. I just felt like I should write out of respect for her, her memory, and everyone who loved her.  Te quiero mucho. 

Times are a changin'

Over the past few weeks, I've realized how things can change dramatically over such a short amount of time. People change, perspectives about people change, friends lose touch, and relationships fall apart. Its not necessarily a bad thing, it's just the wayyy it goes. It just is sooo weird how one event can change everything in someone's life. From what they do for lunch, to the friends they hang out with, to the ministries they are involved in. The worst part about it is God gets left behind in the whole mix. Thats pretty douche-like of us. Even when we have no intention of doing it, we let things change the ways in which we serve God. I've done it, I've pushed people in that direction, and have had people push me in that direction also. I need to stop doin that man, and stop letting myself be put in situations where I'm pushed away from what i need to be doing. Maybe we should continue on with life and serve God in the way he's called us to, regardless of what has happened. I dunno, I'm also realizing how "rambly" I am allatime. Times are a changin', but God's not. Thank GOD. Hey that totally works!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17

[Bitch. (see previous posts)]

Fingerprint.

I'm not a scholar

I'm not a child

I'm not an angel

I'm not that wild

I've seen addiction

I've lived the holy

I've clung to fiction

I've let death control me

I've been consumed

I've traveled the valley

I've been with the doomed

I've lived in the alley

I've lost my mother

I've idoled my sister

I've defended my brother

I've learned to miss her

I've broken for them

I've wanted to leave

I've been called to S.E.N.D.

I've been taught to breathe

I've rid of the old

I've put on the new

I've given God hold

How about you?

Make up by Andie Diaz.

Decision Time.

I have officially made the decision to skip out on the Ecuador trip this year. It was a really hard choice because I want to go back so badly, but it's just not the right time for me. I've been praying about it a lot and I really feel that I need to focus on my ultimate goal this summer: Israel. It bums me out because I know I'm going to be missing out on a lot, but maybe God is wanting me to surrender this trip to him so I can focus on the bigger picture. Its a weird thought. Does got ask us to sacrifice things that would glorify him for other things that will glorify him as a sign of our submission? Because when we weren't Christian, He wanted us to surrender our sinful ways&desires as a sign of our dedication and love. Now that we follow Him, what else can we surrender besides our new "Godly" desires?  Eh, i dunno I'm just thinking as I type, it makes sense in my head. Man I sound really preachy. To quote nathan, "I should swear to even it out. Bitch. There. I feel better."

Just a little rambling. Okay a lot of rambling.

I've been thinking a lot lately about God's desire for my life. I feel like I tend to water Gods voice and personality down. I am all for being educated in Gods word, but I feel like it can be a hindrance at times because the words become almost less-divine. Now, I know there are several different theologies about whether the Bible is actually divine, divinely inspired, or completely absent of God's influence in the making, but I'm not writing to get into that. I believe the Holy Spirit can speak to us through anything. Not only through Biblical literature, but also secular literature, music, television, people, events, etc. Doesn't the Holy Spirit have the power to almost tweak the meaning of passages for certain situations that a person may be going through? Isn't that a way God can speak to us? As a student, I've started to see scripture just for what it meant then and to that specific crowd. Well what about now? I think it's unfair when Christians look down over their nose on people who aren't as educated in Biblical context. They may hear God's voice in scripture saying something that might not necessarily be the literal meaning, and Prima Donna "scholars" (notice the quotes in bold) rebuke them for it. It is just a little frustrating to see people torn down like that. It is also really frustrating when you are the one being torn down. I know there are instances in which people take scripture, mold it to fit their own pre-conceived ideas, and then teach on it. This, I don't agree with and they definitely need some rebuking. I guess there is a fine line between the two. One is not so intentional, and the other...well God help 'em.

HAHA.

Hi My Name's Alaina and I'm a Sexist.

Recently, I have realized how sexist I can be. Not towards the opposite sex, but my own. After an amazing worship set at the Link, Leanna got up to introduce the speaker for the night, and it was a young woman who is a High School youth pastor at a church in Long Beach. Automatically, I assumed the message was going to be terrible. Why? Women are just as capable as men to present an incredible message, yet I still pre-judge the lesson on the presence of certain appendages or lack there of. Her message ended up being incredible and exactly what I needed to hear. She addressed stress not only within a college setting, but life in general. 

The young woman gave three ways in which God will present himself in stressful situations. First, Sometimes God just wants us to be still and let him be God. She used the example of the Israelites right before God split the sea. They cursed God and cursed Moses for leading them through the desert only to Die. Then God was just wanting them to CHILL OUT and let him be God. He split the sea, and they crossed to safety. 

The second way God meets us in our anxiety-head moments is by letting us know sometimes we need to be still in the moment and trust that He is God. The speaker described an imaginary situation to portray this idea. Say you are in the desert, and there is no way whatsoever to get water. Minutes from death, you start to pray for God to provide water and all of a sudden you spot a water bottle out of nowhere. But you ask God, "Cant you jut put it in my body for me? I'm too tired to even open the bottle." and he's probably just thinking , "Reeeaaaallly? You're grown up, do it yourself." Similarly, we become so paralyzed by our stress so when God provides us an "out" we refuse to drink the water that is right in front of us. We need to be still in the moment, let God be God, and respond to Him when needed. He'll provide the water but sometimes we just have to drink it ourselves.

 Finally, in stressful situations, sometimes God just requires every inch of our being to get through our current trial. When the Israelites were marching through the entire night to battle and after fighting all day, God then sent down hail to kill more than the Israelites swords did and also had the sun stay still through the next night. In the midst of the marching I'm sure the soldiers were furious and couldn't see how God would eventually move in miraculous ways. Yet after the battle, what do you bet not one person regretted seeing God work supernaturally that day/night/thing. So even if we don't see God in the midst of trials, he will work it to His benefit eventually. 

 Through everything that has been going on the last few weeks, her message was exactly what I needed to hear.  Not only did it show me that God is present in all situations, but it also made me realize how sexist I can be. Who knew?

Melancholy.

So I have this issue with authority figures. They always convince me to do the complete opposite of what I was planning on doing. I was planning on leaving Hope (see previous post) and I had become perfectly content with it. Actually, I was kind of looking forward to it. Today however, that little issue I have came into play. I met with the Dean and he actually was extremely nice to me and tried to do me a favor by waving the "administrative withdrawal" placed on my name so I could finish the semester with all my credits. I still have to pay the money but I need to work out a plan so I can pay it eventually. So naturally, I said okay. The problem is, I was really looking forward to working and saving up for Israel. I'm happy to be staying, but I am a little disappointed. I sort of feel like a kid who was looking forward to summer vacation, then all of a sudden it got canceled and the teachers assigned a ton of work. I guess I'm just a little melancholy. 

School's Out?

I am officially being withdrawn from HIU. I guess I owe a substantial amount of money (try 8,700) to the school and they sent me a notice a couple weeks ago saying I am going to be "administratively withdrawn." I met with my advisor today and tomorrow I'm meeting with the dean to make everything official. Surprisingly, I am actually okay with it. Andie has offered me a place to stay and now maybe I can work full time to save up for Ecuador and Israel. I still can't decide if its almost a blessing. I've prayed about it a lot though and I think it's best to just submit to the whole process instead of fighting it. I have a lot of time to go back to school, maybe now is the time to work and save up. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1:2-4

I've joined the movement!

I decided that I need to attempt to be semi-cool and start blogging. I'm not exactly sure how this all works, hopefully I'll get a hang of it soon so I can update everyone from Israel!