"Unless the Lord had given me help, I would have soon dwelt in the silence of death." -Psalm 94:17

Seven months later, and the lesson finally sinks in. How quickly can one get pulled into the depths by something (or someone) disguised in sheep's clothing. I am so grateful that I am no longer in the position to wear that yoke, and I pray for the one who fills it. Although it may have destroyed me, I am so thankful for what the Lord did. He loves me enough to pull me out of the pit. Only when one experiences true brokenness can one be rebuilt into His image. Praise the Lord for restoration!

Oh Fyodor...

"A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest form of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying--to others and to yourself." -Mr. Dostoevsky

Link to our Indonesia Blog

Oh Hello.

This time I have an excuse for the neglect, dear blog. I recently ventured on a trip to Indonesia, once again, through S.E.N.D. Ministries. Being one of the team leaders (shout out to Mark Thompson), I was responsible for the team blog. You can read about our trip here. Or, if you rather watch our update video, please enjoy it here.

"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly and be at rest."

Hello again my dear friends. I don't know where to begin. Welcome to the chaos my own inconsistency has caused in this world of "blogging." In this past month and a half, God has rocked my world to say the very least. I have been standing on an unstable cliff side, terrified of falling, with closed eyes,wishing I was anywhere but on that edge. Or perhaps I've stepped out of my boat and began my walk on the changing waters. I prayed for the cliff side to be turned into a plain, for the water to become solid ground. Yet I chose that cliff, the cliff was just not ready to support me. I stood in a position that took faith to reach, yet my faith was too weak to sustain me. Fear rose up from the depths, the cliff side crumbled, and I began to sink. But being as faithful and gracious as our Lord is, He caught me in his wind. He reached out in compassion and pulled me to meet His face. And in that encounter, is where you meet me now. Staring boldly into the eyes of my Creator, seeing everything He sees for me.

At that, I would like to share with you what that next step is going to be. As you know, I am leading a team to Indonesia this summer for approx. three weeks. The Lord has been pouring out vision and divine appointments, now all we need is a team and the finances to go! But that is not the main reason I am writing you. I am writing to announce that upon my return to the states, I will begin the process of moving out to Decatur,Texas indefinitely alongside my sister Ashley and her husband Beto to serve the community,the church, and my family. My home church, Central Fellowship, has graciously offered my the position as their "in house missionary" and will continue to support me financially. There, I will be filling various needs as the Lords leads. As of now, I will be conducting all of the short-term missions under the covering of S.E.N.D. ministries, assisting in directing the Children's ministry, aiding the birth of a Christian coffee shop, organizing music events for said coffee shop, assisting in worship, and lifting up the arms of those involved in the youth ministry. God has equipped me in the last few seasons in so many different ways. I have been in a sponge-like state, soaking in all the experience and lessons put in front of me. Now, I am entering into a season of out pour. The Lord has asked me to take on the role of Joshua as he stood on the front lines, laying his life down first for the people around him. Not in a physical sense, but in a spiritual one.

So that is where you meet me, what His eyes have shown me. I am terrified and ecstatic simultaneously. Praise the Lord for finally reuniting my family! Pray that I may walk boldly in my calling and not begin to sink once again.

Indonesia Developments

A week or so ago, my friend Matt was telling me and my boyfriend about a couple of fellas he met at a coffee shop that he wanted us to meet. He spoke of their love for Christ, surrendered lifestyles, and their passion. We then ventured to a nearby coffee shop to read and study the word when lo and behold, the objects of our previous ( positive:) ) gossip were also there. One of them in particular, Joseph explained how he had completed the YWAM program in Australia and recently returned from a mission to Indonesia, specifically, Bali. Immediately, my ears perked up. S.E.N.D. ministries has been praying about going to Indonesia and recently made a solid contact at an orphanage there. I had been seeking clear confirmation My questions began spilling out. Turns out, he was serving at that VERY SAME orphanage and was best friends with not only the contact out there, but with the boyfriend of the girl that let my last trip to Central America. What a small world! Or rather, what a big God! I've been seeing more and more confirmation from God on the trip to Indonesia. I've been in contact with the missionary there and should be setting dates for this summer sometime around next week! Thanks for the prayers! If anyone is interested in going, let me know!

From the Rooftops

Can I just say that we serve an incredible God? Sometimes we may get caught up in the monotony of life and forget how vast, high, and deep his unconditional love really is. No shadow lurks in him, no blemish, no malice. Being part of an imperfect world tends to hinder my mind from wrapping around the concept of a perfect God. But oh how perfect he is. How gracious he is to gently remind us of his love. How in moments of doubt, he will place our hand in his side to see and know of his goodness. I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops. And considering my rooftop could cave in if I set foot on it, or the fact that I could get arrested for such an act, I'll settle for proclaiming it on my much-neglected blog.

"The LORD liveth, and blessed be the Rock, let the God of my salvation be
exalted!"